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It sounds like you’ve really been through the ringer with herpes information.
First, if a test is accurate and positive, it means that you are infected and potentially infectious to others. However, there are false positives on these tests and with your results, you need a better confirmatory test, and the herpes western blot is the best. you can work with your own provider to get this test or you can work with me. But you need to know for sure. You’ve had these low positive index values for years now. Either find out that you are positive, and you can start doing things to reduce transmission or find out that you are negative and stop wondering.