1. I still really struggle with kissing my husband sometimes. I usually only get coldsore every 2/3 years but I worry about asymptotically giving them to him . Is it less likely I know you don’t have data on this but is transmission less likely when you don’t have an active lesion? I’ve had hsv 20+ years so not a new infection
2. I don’t give oral sex to my husband due to the risk of spreading it. Maybe I have 1/2 times in our marriage. If this was a few years ago what is the likelihood that he would exhibit hsv 1 symptoms in the future ? You hear of people getting symptoms years after initial infection ? Is that true or is it extremely unlikely that he would get hsv 1 symptoms genitally in the future from these encounters a few years ago?
So who is worried about him acquiring HSV 1, you or him? Has he actually been tested with a good test to know if he actually already has HSV 1 or not? If he hasn’t, he should be. You are basing a lot of behaviors upon the belief that he is not infected. That may not be correct. Even if he has never had any symptoms.
You are avoiding important intimacy behaviors like kissing and giving your husband oral sex due to a fear that he may or may not share and which may or may not be correct, because he may be infected already and no one knows it.
I recommend that you rethink the transmission of this very common virus.