I think it is unlikely that you have HSV 2. You need a herpes western blot for clarification. You’ve had one very low positive and one equivocal result. Has the provider that ordered the test not ordered confirmation of some kind? If you are upset about this enough to consider suicide, don’t you think it would be good to know if you actually have this or not? Your symptoms do not sound herpetic to me.
When did you last have a sexual encounter that could have resulted in a new herpes infection? Timing of the testing is very important.