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1 – Whether I am already positive to HSV 2 (and the answer seems to be “we can’t tell for sure” despite the 3 low positives for IgG)
Correct, we can’t tell for sure.
2 – Whether it can be ascertained if her outbreak was HSV 1 or HSV 2 (she was swab-tested during the outbreak and they said she was positive to both)
That’s not correct – something is wrong there. She might be antibody positive but extremely unlikely that she would be swab test positive for both from a single lesions.
3 – What can we afford to do when we meet and can we mitigate the risks (e.g. she takes antivirals, we both take them, protected sex only etc)
Protected sex only and her on antivirals. Yes.