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Reply To: Disclosed HSV2 – how to be safe practically

› Forums › Herpes Questions › Disclosed HSV2 – how to be safe practically › Reply To: Disclosed HSV2 – how to be safe practically

December 22, 2022 at 10:39 am #79798
PartnerAnxiety
Participant

I think my previous question might have come across wrong. The disclosure was a big shock and I’m trying to find my path forward with her. As I said above I really feel connected with this girl and thank that the relationship has great potential. I’m trying to figure out how to stay negative at the same time having not only a emotional but also sexual relationship. So far we haven’t had any type of sex but she has shared that she wants sex to be a important part of the relationship and I do as well. She only has HSV2 (2 sores) and 2 BO’s in 5 months. My IGG test for HSV1 and HSV2 were both negative 16+ weeks after sex with anyone.

What I think I know is that nothing is really “safe” it could be transmitted even if we do everything. From what I understand I as a male have about a 4% change of getting the virus. It would go down to 2% if she takes antivirals and to about 1% if we also use a condom. It’s about the same odds as dying from an automobile accident. So it seems like a low risk (albeit guys still get it so I could still be the unlucky one).

Since she has HSV2 genital region what is the risk of oral w/o a dental dam? I know it’s “low” but I would assume it’s much lower than sex with a condom and antiviral?

I have also read that newer cases are more contagious and hers is only 5 months old. We could wait to 6 months but probably not to 2 years. Is there any data that says we should wait a few more months and we would be much safer or is it basically the same until the 2 year mark?

I think I know that you have to wear a condom every time. I understand that the condom only works if the OB happens in a place that condom covers. Does the condom still help if I will still be touching the area that breaks out with non condom areas of my genitals

Thank you so much for all you are doing. She is wonderful and I want to find a way to stay safe and move forward with her. It’s early though and I’m afraid of becoming positive and it not working out.

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