We always like to start with the concerning experience when discussing the likelihood of having genital herpes. Your contact has no real risk of acquiring herpes. 5 seconds of genital to genital contact without penetration is about as risk free as one can get. But you seem to have really taken this to heart and have worried about it for a long time, doing repeated testing.
Your symptoms sound very much like jock itch (a fungal infection). In addition, neck lymph nodes have nothing to do with genital herpes nor does generalized fatigue.
Given that you’ve been 10 weeks off Valtrex, I think that is long enough to develop some antibody response so my answer is that you should trust the negative IgG tests and move along now.
Terri