Given that you’ve never had any sores in the genital area, and you’re looking carefully, I think that a new herpes infection is less likely but since 85% of people who are truly infected with HSV two would deny having it based on symptoms, that can’t be our only guidance. You could try a couple of things. One is to ask the woman to be tested, and two, you could do an antibody test at about 10 weeks out from the encounter but be aware that false positives are common, compared to the gold standard herpes western blot just so you know, herpes would not cause pain in your arms. That is the wrong nerve group. Genital herpes would impact areas from your waist down.
Terri