I see people in both situations. Some get only oral infection and some get only genital infection and occasionally, they get it in both locations. It has to do with the kind of contact that you have in the timing of the contact. For example, if your husband only passionately kissed you on one day but did not give you oral sex on that day it would be expected that you would only get this orally. Without lesions genitally, you are never going to be 100% certain that you only have this orally. But I think it is important to keep in mind that genital HSV one infection is so benign for most people and transmission through intercourse is so rare that I would question whether it’s worth the worry that you’re giving it. This is not to say that I don’t think it’s legitimate to have these thoughts but I read your title that you’re devastated and I would encourage you that the likelihood of you having this genital he is low because you’ve never had a sore and the transmission risk is very low through intercourse. I don’t mean to minimize your concern in anyway but I just don’t think it’s worth it.
Terri