I’m not at all clear why you gave up dairy, but maybe you will tell me.
Have you had this bad lip condition swab tested for HSV? Without a swab test it isn’t possible to know if the tingling and redness and numbness are due to herpes or not.
All reputable sources I know say breastfeeding while taking valacyclovir is safe and effective. Perhaps you should get another opinion about taking these meds daily to reduce the symptoms that you are having