[scaredhusband]

I am concerned because I love my wife. This has torn me up inside and I am afraid to bring something into our home that affects her and my child possibly. I’ve lost 20 pounds since December and it’s hard to sleep at night.

So far, from my timelime above, I’ve just suffered a variety of symptoms for 12 weeks with no visible blisters and have seen a multitude of doctors, all of them trying to reassure me that it’s not herpes. I had a IGM/IGG blood test in January and IGM in Feb and both came back negative. I had a IGM/IGG test last week and should get the results tomorrow.

As for the other woman, she claims she was tested back in 2012 and negative. It is difficult to believe someone that allowed me to hurt my family. As for contact, I have not spoken to her since early January and emotionally it’s difficult to try to speak to her again.

I knew my wife had tested positive for HSV-1 when she took a test in 2012. My wife said she thinks she had a cold sore as a kid. In the time I’ve been with her, lived with her and married her, we’ve been together since 2004. I’ve never seen an outbreak on my wife. That being said… I love my wife. If I caught HSV-1 from her… I promised to love her in sickness and in health. While I haven’t been a perfect husband, I’m afraid of the other woman giving me HSV-2. Then what happens, my wife is hit with a double whammy?

I just want closure, for me and my wife. I want to move on into the next phases of our lives. I’m emotional as I type this. I need clarification of my symptoms, do they indicate herpes? I need advice. It’s very hard to live this way. Now that I have been honest with my wife, I am hoping she will forgive me and we can continue our marriage. The guilt was so overwhelming sometimes I wonder if it’s made me sick.

As I said, I don’t care if I get it from my wife. I promised to love her despite any illness. Of course I would like to minimize risk, and definitely for our child. I want our child to experience life and not feel different. I have been afraid to hug her or kiss her for fear of her catching something. I get extreme anxiety about that.

Again, what I want is clarification of my symptoms, do they indicate herpes? And I need advice. Thank you.

[scaredhusband]

Here’s another photo, taken a few minutes ago. It’s difficult to get the angle right because I have to spread the fold open. It’s on a stretch mark. It opens laterally, then when I spread the skin it’s a circle. But looks dried. No blister. No hair coming out of it.

The other woman claims to have taken a test and was negative back in 2012 and swears she has not been with anyone else.

My derm knows I put on the steroid cream, and recently started me on Otezla like a month ago to help. But if I don’t use the ointment, I will break out in psoriasis after a few days. I know it is psoriasis, or at least believe so, as it’s a condition I’ve had since my teens and I’m in my late 30’s now.

Like I said, since Christmas week, here’s the timeline:

Weeks 1-3: Penis tingled during oral sex; then noticeable testicular pain and light penis tingling; did not hurt during urination, only after or occassional random movements; primary care did urinary test and gave me 14 day supply of cipro.

Week 4 (Jan 11-14): Testicle pain subsided; urologist did physical examination, concluded that testicles were inflammed.

Week 5 (Jan 18-24): Visited urgent care; did physical exmination and blood test for HSV; psoriasis was pretty bad that week, urgent care said “it could be herpes, but I’m not your derm or primary doctor;” no blistering; blemishes/rash responded to ointment for psoriasis; I did have an open sore on my testicle; lasted one day, then scabbed over, no blister and not sure if this was due to scratching, psoriasis and urinating frequently; primary care also did blood test; both blood tests came back negative from pcp and urgent care (IGM & IGG)

Week 6: (Jan. 25-31): This is where I noticed raw skin and inflamed capillaries right on the bottom of my right nostril, though I had been considerably wiping due to being emotional often; the tingling in my penis was less noticeable; my anus was very irritated though, very itchy although I have had multiple pilidal cysts and itchiness throughout the years.

Week 7: (Feb 1-7): I developed two canker sores in my mouth, one behind my teeth and one very high up on my gum under my cheek; both had the white head and were painful; I visited my derm that Monday that said they were cranker sores, and checked my genitals and gave me Otezla;

Week 8: (Feb 8-14): I had very bad sinuses that week, very lethargic spending Feb. 8 in bed a lot, and had a sore throat for a couple of days; Feb. 9 I visited two doctors (PCP and urgent care) that looked at the spot on my nostril, and a open wound by the scar on my upper cleft of my buttocks where I have a scar from a pilidal cyst surgery and both said they did not look herpetic; I visited my urologist that Thursday and that is where she diagnosed me with prostatitis as my penis was tingling again; that Friday, Feb. 13 is where my lip started to tingle. I started a 14 day supply of Cipro on Feb 12.

Week 9: (Feb 15-21): My lip tingle subsided that Sunday, the 15th with no lesions; most of my allergy symptoms such as stuffy nose and headache subsided; tingling penis still there during random movement and post-urination with some pain in my stomach and under my testes.

Week 10: (Feb. 22-28): Continued pain. Feb 27 my lip began tingling.

Week 11: (March 1-8): Lip tingle. Legs tingled. Saw derm, said it was burning mouth syndrome. Dentist said lips looked inflamed. Rash appeared as in photo yesterday. Today subsided, but small cut appeared in fold of skin as stated. And tonight, a small, tiny crack appeared in my lip where it had been irritated. Took IGG blood test, get results Tuesday.

A doctor also said that herpes usually isn’t just confined to the urethra, that usually the cluster is leading inside. When I open the urethra, I don’t see anything unusual.

My urologist is treating me for prostatitis, yes. She did a physical examination, said she felt a little blockage or something in the testes headed into the penis, and did a urine sample which came back negative. This was in the beginning of Feb. I noticed that the tingle in my bottom lip started as I begin Cipro and finished it. My dentist did a physical examination of my mouth and lips and said it was a reaction, she did not see any blisters or sores that resemble HSV.

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